*It’s like the more visible the excitement, the more we feel like we have to lose” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBzFa8kvh0E
admitting that you want something that has no guarantee of welcoming you feels exposing, and not just for others, also for you
because “who do you think you are”, “no one cares anyway”
like caring is something bad
an instinct to self-protect
we are more visible now
“the outcome is no longer entirely yours”